How to Break Up with Someone You Love
Sometimes, letting go of someone you love isn’t easy but it is something that must be done.
Finding someone you truly love is no easy feat and letting the person you love go is even more difficult.
There can be many different reasons that led you to take this path: having different life goals, prioritizing careers, not wanting children in the future, or simply coming to realize that you would be better off as friends.
One thing is certain though, breaking up with the one person you love is tough. Here is a couple of tips and things to keep in mind when breaking up with someone you love:
- Ensure Breaking Up is What You Want
Before even beginning planning how you’re going to bring up breaking up with your partner, make sure that what you want is to break up.
To confirm whether or not breaking up is what you want, identify the issue you’re currently facing with your partner. Then, ask yourself whether that issue can be resolved or mitigated without breaking up. If so, you should try other methods before breaking up, as there’s no coming back from it.
If the issue you’re facing with your partner is so significant and impactful to your relationship as a whole and you’re sure that you’ve already done everything within your capability to address that problem but it just isn’t working out, then, it is likely that breaking up is something you want to pursue.
- Have a Talk
This is more so of a double-checking mechanism for you to ensure that your partner is just not the right one for you.
Get your partner to sit down and have an open-minded discussion about your relationship. Where is it headed? What can you or your partner expect in the future? What are you and you’re trying to achieve? How is the relationship going so far?
Throughout the conversation, pay attention to how your partner describes the relationship you both share in the future. For example, if you want children in the future and yet your partner firmly states that their career is the priority and that they do not want any children. This is potentially a warning sign that both of you are incompatible.
- Don’t Go Back on Your Decision to Break Up
Once you’ve made up your mind about breaking up with your partner, don’t easily change your mind or go back on your decision.
It can be extremely intimidating and nerve-wracking when you’re breaking up with your partner and you can often find yourself in a situation where you begin reminiscing on those lovely memories the both of you shared or how attractive or sweet your partner can be sometimes.
This is where your determination and will come into play. Do not engage in any form of bargain or compromise with your partner as leading them on and giving false hope can hurt both parties even more in the long run.
- Mentally Prepare Yourself
Come to terms with the fact that this breakup is going to be uncomfortable and possibly heart-breaking. The quicker and better you’re able to prepare yourself for this breakup, the easier the entire process you’ll become.
This doesn’t mean that you must completely detach yourself from the situation and block out all of the emotions that you would normally feel during a breakup as this can be harmful to your health. Rather, simply make known to yourself and face the fact that no breakup is pretty and as soon as you’re well-versed with that notion, the thought of breaking up would not scare you as much.
- Break Up Face to Face
Never resort to sending a text message or a phone call to break up. This is not only inconsiderate but extremely disrespectful to a partner whom you love.
No matter how long you’ve been together with the person, be it a month, a year, or a decade, so as long you have a history of relationship with another party, it is always much more feasible to meet physically to break up.
This shows that, although you’re breaking up with them, you respect them and treat them as important people in your life.
- Process the Situation and Answer Any Questions
Once you’ve mentioned that you wish to break up with your partner, do not get up and leave them alone right after. Instead, give your partner some time to process and digest what is happening. Remember that, although you’ve possibly sat on the idea of breaking up for a long-time now, this is the first time your partner is hearing about it and it can potentially be surprising or overwhelming, or both, to them.
Right after they are done with comprehending the situation, it is also likely the case that they have will have a couple of questions. Answer all those questions to the best of your capabilities as they deserve to know your perspective and why you decided to break up with them. It is also a way of respecting them and perhaps helping them become a better person in the future.
- Provide Some Space and Occupy Yourself
Understand that even once you’ve done everything you can to explain the situation, reason, and issue to your partner, they might still need some time to think about it all over again. Respect that and distance yourself from them, allowing them to have some time and space to properly process and figure things out.
In the meantime, what you should do is to occupy yourself. For example, if you haven’t been visiting your parents as much when you were in a relationship, take a trip back home and see them. Or perhaps, if you haven’t been doing many leisure activities or found time to engage in your hobbies, take this as an opportunity to do so. You can take a hike to your favorite spot and enjoy the view, or maybe dust off your easel, grab your paint brushes, and start painting on a canvas.
Breaking up with someone you love has always been an extremely delicate and personal situation that no one ever wishes for, and yet it is something the majority, if not all, of us, must go through.
It also isn’t necessary to see breakups as a bad and negative thing. In fact, you can see it as you ending a relationship between two incompatible individuals who are not happy together. Who knows, you could potentially be helping yourself or your partner find “The One” in the near future.